Tag Archives: breastfeeding

Rules of the Road

Being yourself, being natural, is, for the most part, a good thing. But like anything, there are degrees of what is acceptable or sensible. Nudity, for example; it’s natural, accepted in places like nude beaches and nudist colonies, but in the busy downtown shopping area, not so much. It is sensible in that the cost of clothing goes way down, and it’s convenient for swimming, but then when the sun comes out it’s not so sensible to fry your unprotected skin and turn into a lobster, or to get frostbite in the winter.

So it is with breastfeeding. Sure it’s natural, but it’s not always practical or socially accepted in all situations. Difficult to do while riding a bicycle, not a good idea while driving a car. If using a cell phone is distracting, I’d say breastfeeding while driving also qualifies.

Even if you’re not driving, but just crossing the road with the kids, it’s not the ideal place to stop and breastfeed them. It’s just not a good idea.

That’s what this mother was doing as I came upon them in my car. While I grabbed my paparazza camera to get some good breast shots for the next  Playgirls in the Wild magazine, the mom came to her senses and told the kids to scram.

“Follow me,” she said, trotting down the road. Now where was that opening into the bushes?

She ducked in, yelling over her shoulder, “Come on, kids! Don’t just stand there gawking!  Hurry up and get in here, or you’ll get shot! Didn’t you see the camera in that predator’s hands?”

“All right, all right. What’s the big deal?” the more foolish of the two drawled as he swaggered off the road.

There’s always one in the family who has attitude. Let’s hope it never bites him.