“Sweetheart, I adore you. Give us a kiss.”

Oooh! She’s closing her eyes. I think it’s working.

“Come here, Bud,” she chirps.

Oooh! She’s whispering in my ear.

 

“What’s that, Biddy? You want me to sing you a love song?”

Sheesh! She sure is high maintenance. But my little Biddy is almost ready to say “yes.”

 

 

“Would you like me to play something … er … like accompany you on the pigiano?” asks Porky.

 

“Okay, here goes! … Hmm …  It doesn’t seem to be working.”

 

“I have to what? Open the lid?” Oops! “Of course! I knew that! I was just about to do that…. Hmm … I can’t seem to remember any songs.”

 

 

“Well, thanks for turning on the Budlight — I mean the light, Bud — and finding some music, but, ah … well … the truth is … no glasses.

No matter. Can’t read music.

Anyway, this doesn’t look like a love song.”

 

“Hey, Porky! Would you like us to accompany you? We’ve got a guitar, cymbals, and maracas. Come on. Let’s play. Just ignore that naked Cuban lady dancing behind us.”

 

“And we can help too. We’re the Mainzelmaennchen of German television ads fame. Let us show you. From left to right, you can see that we play natural instruments: the pot and wooden spoon, the coffee mill, the whistling kettle, the comb, the all-purpose whisk-like wooden spoon, and the pot-lid cymbals (watch your nose there, Fritz).”

“Aw-right!” says Porky. “Let’s jam! And please ask our audience to put their donations into that slot in my head. I’m banking on that.

A-one, a-two, a-three, a-four.”

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.