A True Horror Story as told by “The Captain”
What a day for fly fishing! Coho jumping and finning in front of us. A beach fisherman’s dream. But how quickly things can change. Here I was, loading my fly rod back into the truck to return to town without even wetting a line.
I had set up my friend, Brad, for fly fishing; even giving him one of my hot, specially tied blue-green streamer flies to guarantee his success. But I hadn’t counted on his lack of technique. With beginner’s luck, he was into a finning coho right away, but within seconds, the lightning fish spit the hook. In his eagerness to hook another fish, Brad’s backcast became an errant sidecast. The fly whipped by my head and on its return stung me on the nose like a mad hornet.
And there it stayed.
I tried to work the hook out of my nose, thinking of the coho slime now embedded in my face. It wouldn’t budge.
“You won’t get it out without help,” Brad said. “It’s stuck right in the cartilage.”
On the way back to town, Brad stole frequent glances at my nose and sporadic snorts of laughter escaped him. “Sorry,” he wheezed.
I glared at him, but moments later his shoulders bounced again.
It was a relief to drop off Brad at home. I continued on to the hospital with the truck’s sun visor down in case I passed anyone I knew. I parked close to the Emergency entrance. Head down and hand cupped over my nose, I strode up to the reception desk. A bubbly young nurse looked up at me. “Can I help you, sir?”
Uncovering my nose for her eyes only, I said, “Can you get this off me?”
“Ooh! Oh, my goodness,” she blurted out. “We’ll put you behind this curtain. I’ll get the doctor right away.”
Quick, light footsteps approached. A short, slight woman stood by my bed. “Been fishing, have we? I’m Doctor Payne.”
“Hi. Can you get this thing off my nose? Have you ever dealt with this kind of thing before?”
“Don’t worry. We do it a-a-all the time,” she assured me. She brought a needle up to my nose. “This may sting a little, but it will freeze the tissue so we can pull the hook out.”
“I don’t think so,” I hurried to inform her. “There’s a barb on the end. I crimped it, but apparently not enough. Believe me, I tried to pull it out and it won’t budge. Hurt like hell, too.”
“In that case I’ll push it through to the other side and cut the barb off. Then I can pull it back out.” I was thankful for the freezing as she pushed the hook through.
Dr. Payne left to find a tool. I was puzzled and disappointed when she came back with a pair of worn, old wire cutters. I had envisioned something more sterile and surgical. With much squeezing of wire cutters and accidental twisting of my nose, the tiny woman worried the tempered steel of the fly hook, all to no avail. At this point, I offered to go find my gear pliers and do the job myself, but she insisted, “We do it a-a-all the time.”
When she left the cubicle, I touched my nose gingerly. It was swollen and probably bright red. Add the decoration of blue-green feathers and I was thankful for the curtain surrounding the bed.
The intercom paged Dr. Birley and momentarily he and Dr. Payne appeared at my bedside. The man dwarfed the little woman. He took the wire cutters and, with an outward flip of his elbows, and a shuffling of his feet to find the most comfortable stance, he prodded the hook to find a good grip.
Dr. Payne’s face was almost as close to mine as Dr. Birley’s. “NO, Doctor, NO!” she exclaimed. “You’ve got tissue. Doctor Birley! You’ve got tissue!”
Dr. Birley straightened up, raised his head, and looked down his long nose at Dr. Payne. He tossed the wire cutters onto the tray by my bed. The last I saw of him was his wide back passing between the cubicle curtains.
Dr. Payne hurried after him. A moment later, the intercom announced, “Maintenance … call Emergency. Maintenance … call Emergency.”
All was quiet and I was drifting off to sleep, but my eyes flashed open when I heard the receptionist’s shrill voice. “Oh, my goodness! I wouldn’t let anyone go near my face with those things.”
Alarm bells clanged in my mind. My eyes must have been huge when Dr. Payne walked in carrying a pair of red-handled bolt cutters that were almost half as big as she was. I wondered what grungy task Maintenance had last used them for. The tool’s great iron beak settled on my nose like a turkey vulture, but seconds later, the hook was out.
I thanked the doctor and as I left the hospital, free of my feathery affliction at last, Dr. Payne’s words still echoed in my ears. “We do it a-a-all the time.”
April 16, 2024 at 10:28 am
Dear Anneli
Oh dear, a well written story. But now our noses hurt.
Thanks for sharing
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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April 16, 2024 at 10:43 am
It was a sore nose for sure.
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April 17, 2024 at 4:34 am
We hope it wasn’t too painful.
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April 17, 2024 at 7:53 am
I think it was the embarrassment that hurt the most.
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April 17, 2024 at 4:36 am
We hope that too
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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April 16, 2024 at 11:01 am
Oh my gosh, how terrible! I’m glad the hook was removed without severe damage. 🙏🏻☺️
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April 16, 2024 at 11:21 am
At the time, I think the embarrassment of walking around with this flaming thing on his nose was more painful than the puncture of the hook.
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April 16, 2024 at 12:49 pm
I would be embarrassed for sure but the pain!
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April 16, 2024 at 1:34 pm
I’m sure it was not a fun time.
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April 16, 2024 at 11:06 am
Fun story but scary story, Anneli. I have such a scar on my nose, not because of a hook, but the deep and long incision after visiting the dermatologist. Ah, the misguided antics of youth in the sun paid for years later by those who live long enough to suffer the consequences.
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April 16, 2024 at 11:20 am
So true, Grant. We can laugh about it later, but only because we are so happy to have come out relatively unscathed.
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April 16, 2024 at 11:43 am
What seems like a comedy reading this story, was probably pure horror for Gary, poor him!
But I had to laugh anyway, sorry.
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April 16, 2024 at 11:45 am
It was meant to be laughed about later, so don’t feel bad. I wish I could have been there to see the fly on his nose.
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April 16, 2024 at 12:37 pm
OMG! That’s so funny and so serious at the same time! Could have been so much worse, too. I’m glad everything turned out (was pulled out?) okay and you can laugh at it!
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April 16, 2024 at 1:33 pm
A lot of things that are funny now, could have been serious, but I think some of the laughing was from relief. Still … walking around with that fly on his nose …. LOL.
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April 16, 2024 at 2:01 pm
Oh. My. Gawwd! Well told story, but he didn’t speak at all of the pain. It must’ve been excruciating. The captain drove himself to the ER in such a calm state after dropping off his buddy. I was surprised his friend didn’t take him. Maybe he was laughing too hard. 😉 Kind of ironic how we both put up stories of our two Garys in pain today. Speaking of which, my Gary also got a hook in the nose once. His was a tool that was work related when he used to work with cars. Except, the hook came out of his nose on its own after splitting one side nostril open. 😝
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April 16, 2024 at 4:02 pm
Oh, poor guy. Never name a kid “Gary.”
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April 16, 2024 at 2:18 pm
I am never going fishing. That did it.
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April 16, 2024 at 4:01 pm
Haha. You just have to be the one in front and not to someone’s side.
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April 16, 2024 at 2:59 pm
Ugh, how awful. 😞. I hope he healed nicely!
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April 16, 2024 at 4:01 pm
His nose looks as good as ever.
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April 17, 2024 at 7:23 am
Oh my goodness!! He is fortunate to not have it land on his eye! I can’t imagine the pain he must have been in. What an awful way to end a fun day out fishing. By the way, I love Ken Thorne’s photo at the top of the post. It looks so very peaceful. —- Sonja
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April 17, 2024 at 7:51 am
Yes, he was lucky (unlucky, but lucky). The whole day was ruined for fishing because it happened first thing. And yes, I agree about Ken’s photos. He took a bunch of them and they’re really good.
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April 17, 2024 at 7:49 am
The story reminded me of similar event in our family. More than 30 years ago, my wife and our youngest son went fishing. When Stefan got hooked, we had to rush him to the hospital where he was taken care of.
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April 17, 2024 at 7:53 am
We sometimes forget how sharp those hooks are. Good thing Stefan got the hook taken care of. The fish juice can do nasty things if not treated properly.
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April 18, 2024 at 5:19 am
What a story! Very scary!!
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April 18, 2024 at 11:09 am
And so embarrassing!
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April 18, 2024 at 3:01 pm
I can relate!
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April 19, 2024 at 8:26 am
Peter was wrong and did not remember the incident correctly. Our youngest son hooked me in the forehead, and I had to go to the emergency room. I was laughing hysterically all the way . The doctor also told me that it happens all the time and on more sensitive parts of the body. It’s a great story, which made me smile and sympathize with you. Are you still going near rooky fly fishers?
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April 19, 2024 at 2:50 pm
I don’t go along fishing very often anymore, but I do remember getting hooked in the knuckle of a finger. Luckily my hands were already ice cold so I could push the hook out without feeling too much more pain. But I do remember the “THWACK” sound as the hook connected with my joint.
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April 19, 2024 at 1:28 pm
Ouch! I was hooked in the knee once. Ended up going to emerge, though not quite this horror show. The nurse had a great sense of humor and suggested that I enter a local fishing derby as the “Oddity catch.” 🙂
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April 19, 2024 at 2:47 pm
LOL. That would have been a winner for sure!
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