The white chrysanthemum is doing its faithful blooming again. It’s that time of the year. But this particular plant has a long history. It used to belong to my mother. She died in March of 1982 at the age of 69. She had this very chrysanthemum hanging in a basket on her back veranda, and since chrysanthemums bloom in the fall, I can assume that she bought it some time in 1981 or earlier, at least 41 years ago.
My dad asked if I wanted to take the plant home because it would just die. He was no gardener. So the chrysanthemum came home with me in 1982. Every year since then, it has bloomed in the fall. I think of my mother more often than just at chrysanthemum time, but when I glance at the flowers on my deck, I find there is some connection to her.
Last year I realized I’d been greedy about this plant and since it was crowded in the pot, I shared part of the plant with my sister. She now has some of this plant in her garden. I worried a little bit that by dividing the plant I might have killed it, but it came back as cheerily as ever this year.
I’d like to share some of my mother’s traits with you.
She loved her children.
She loved to laugh and tease in a kind way. And she loved puns.
She had a beautiful singing voice and loved music.
She could cook and bake great food without a recipe.
She taught us to keep ourselves and our house clean.
If one of us kids were in a nasty mood, she’d say, “Go find some place out of this room, and come back when you can smile.”
But if we had a problem that needed solving, she was always there to listen and most of all to give us a hug.
She made us pitch in to help with chores. I learned a lot about cooking from being her helper in the kitchen. I can still hear her telling me not to leave the wooden spoon in the pot or pan. “Don’t cook the wooden spoon,” she’d say.
She was kind to animals. We always had pets – dogs, cats, turtles, tropical fish, gerbils – and they had a good life in our house.
She was a “nurse” without official training, taking care of all our aches, pains, and illnesses, as well as those of our pets. When our cat had trouble closing its jaw, I watched as my mother reached way back into the cat’s mouth, and pulled a fish backbone (a vertebra – like a tiny spool of thread) off the cat’s back tooth where it had become stuck. The moment the cat felt that the bone was removed, she licked my mother’s hand to say thank you over and over.
She encouraged me about school. Every single day, as I left for school, she told me, “Listen to the teacher and be good.”
About my schoolwork she told me, “Every day when you do your work, turn the page and look at yesterday’s work. Then start today’s work and try to do it better than yesterday’s.”
I never saw her lie down for a nap. There was always work to do. Sometimes at night if the bedroom light was on as I tip-toed past on my way to the bathroom, I would see her reading in bed, and as often as not, her eyes would be closed. She’d had a full day.
She didn’t have a long life, but she sure packed a lot into the life she had, and she made the world a better place when she was in it.
So I’m always happy to see that her chrysanthemum, the very same plant, still blooms for her and has done for forty years.
October 18, 2022 at 2:16 pm
What a lovely tribute. Your mother was beautiful.❤️
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October 18, 2022 at 2:36 pm
Thanks, Jill. I was very lucky to have her even for a while.
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October 18, 2022 at 4:15 pm
Yes indeed.❤️
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October 18, 2022 at 2:17 pm
That chrysanthemum is amazing. Mine are lucky to last a year.
I like the sound of your mom, Anneli.
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October 18, 2022 at 2:39 pm
Tnx, Jacqui. It would have made a better Mother’s Day post, but the chrysanthemums are fussy about when they will bloom.
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October 18, 2022 at 2:19 pm
Well, you did it, you made me miss your mom, and I never met her. Far from the way my mom was, who was/is a great cook but wouldn’t let me in her kitchen (which I wrote about in my memoir). And she took naps often.
I’m sorry you lost your mom so young. Her love is still with you, which means she lives on, and the those flowers are a beautiful reminder. Thank you for sharing about her.
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October 18, 2022 at 2:38 pm
Thanks, Lori. We’re very lucky to have moms who cared about us and gave so much of themselves. Everyone has different ways of showing their love, but as long as they do it in some way, that’s all that matters.
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October 18, 2022 at 3:21 pm
What a wonderful tribute. Now I’m wishing I could have met your mother; I know I would have liked her. It’s amazing that the plant has lasted so many years, but I’m sure it’s had some of the same loving care that your mother gave to you.
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October 18, 2022 at 3:24 pm
And the cold winters it has suffered through! Some years I worried that I might have lost it in spite of covering it with burlap, but it is resilient. I know you would have like my mother if you’d met her. I don’t believe she had an enemy on this earth.
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October 18, 2022 at 3:23 pm
This is so beautiful, Anneli, God bless your family! She sounds like a lovely woman. It’s amazing that the plant is still blooming decades later, beautiful! ❤️☺️
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October 18, 2022 at 3:24 pm
You can see now, why I understand how you feel about your mother. They were kindred spirits in many ways.
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October 18, 2022 at 3:28 pm
Yes, I understand this and it’s a beautiful thing Anneli. Sometimes I talk to my mom. ❤️
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October 18, 2022 at 3:25 pm
Du hast so viel schönes über deine Mutter geschrieben. Das könnte ich jetzt nicht ❤️❤️❤️
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October 18, 2022 at 3:30 pm
She was something very special, Mathilda. I don’t think I deserved her.
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October 18, 2022 at 3:52 pm
I think every child deserves a mother and you are worthy to be her daughter!
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October 18, 2022 at 7:30 pm
Thanks, Mathilda. I know some people who grew up without their mother and it is so sad that they have to learn to be tough and resilient without this guardian and role model.
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October 19, 2022 at 1:45 am
❤️🤗
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October 18, 2022 at 3:30 pm
I love your mother. She sounds like the perfect mom. And she was pretty, too!!! That is such an incredible story about the flowers. It sounds almost too magical to be true.
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October 18, 2022 at 3:31 pm
Every year the stress gets worse. I really don’t want to lose this plant after all this time.
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October 20, 2022 at 9:50 am
It does sound pretty stressful because a lot of what happens is because of the tenacity of this plant–or a more spiritual explanation. So keep the faith I would say!!!
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October 20, 2022 at 10:19 am
Yes, thanks, Luanne.
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October 18, 2022 at 3:30 pm
Your Mom sounds like a remarkable woman. A good memorial tribute to her Anneli. Allan
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October 18, 2022 at 3:31 pm
Thanks, Allan. She was special and I was lucky.
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October 18, 2022 at 4:16 pm
What a wonderful person your mother was, Anneli. A lovely tribute.
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October 18, 2022 at 7:28 pm
Thanks, Belinda. I know I’m biased but she really was one in a million.
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October 18, 2022 at 4:56 pm
She sounds like a beautiful soul and role model. Wow! I’m glad the plant survived. They are like old friends.
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October 18, 2022 at 7:29 pm
Thanks, Susie. She was that. And yes, don’t you love it when plants have a story? So many of them do.
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October 18, 2022 at 5:21 pm
Anneli, you were blessed to have such a caring mother and the chrysanthemum is a reflection of her grace and beauty.
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October 18, 2022 at 7:32 pm
It reminds me of her all the time. Thanks for reading, Carol.
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October 18, 2022 at 6:00 pm
Anneli your Mom was such an amazing nurse and taking care of everyone. Anita
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October 18, 2022 at 7:33 pm
I’m sure she learned a lot from her mother. Families are so important.
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October 18, 2022 at 6:00 pm
Thanks for sharing your mom with us, Anneli. ❤️ What a beautiful tribute to her. I love that you still have her chrysanthemum alive and healthy after all these years!
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October 18, 2022 at 7:35 pm
Thank you, Lynette. I sure do treasure that plant, and am happy to see it bloom every year. I wish she could see it. She’d be so pleased.
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October 18, 2022 at 7:06 pm
This is a beautifully completed memorial to your beloved mother Anneli, through your white chrysanthemum. One of your best ‘wordsfromanneli”. You resemble your mother, inside and outside, her ongoing best self.
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October 18, 2022 at 7:36 pm
Aw, shucks, Marsha. Yer makin’ me blush! But thank you for saying that. She was a good teacher with plenty of love to go around.
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October 18, 2022 at 8:47 pm
Take a bow and pat yourself on your back; you learned very well from your mother! We leave tomorrow, see you in the spring. Xox
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October 18, 2022 at 8:55 pm
Happy trails. Stay safe.
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October 18, 2022 at 7:38 pm
By the way, Marsha, I meant to tell you that the small yellow chrysanthemum you brought to dinner last year is now a big plant on my deck and is getting ready to bloom, so thank you for that!
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October 18, 2022 at 8:50 pm
How nice that you have it growing on your deck, they bloom late when nearly every other plant is finished showing off. You are one of my favourite people Anneli, whether we see much of each other or not. Your friend, Marsha
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October 18, 2022 at 8:56 pm
Aw, thanks, Marsha. I’m glad we’re friends.
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October 18, 2022 at 8:20 pm
My chunk of white chrysanthemum is in full bloom here as well. Every time it blooms it is like she is sending me a message of love. Thank you so much for the chunk of the plant, and for the beautiful tribute you posted. We were truly very lucky to have her as our mother and she worked so hard every single day to make sure we all felt loved and safe. I miss her immeasurably.
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October 18, 2022 at 8:33 pm
Yes, me too. I’m glad your piece of her chrysanthemum is doing well.
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October 18, 2022 at 11:59 pm
What a lovely post this is! I remember your mother very well. I liked her right away. She was a beautiful woman in- and outside with a big loving heart. It´s amazing that her plant is still alive and blooming every year for you.
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October 19, 2022 at 6:57 am
I’m really happy that you got to meet her. Thanks, Ursula.
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October 19, 2022 at 7:42 am
Your post is a great tribute to your mother’s love. Let the flowers continue to bloom in her memory, Anneli!
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October 19, 2022 at 7:50 am
It’s very important to me to keep those flowers alive and well over the years. Thanks for your kind comment, Peter.
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October 19, 2022 at 8:17 am
What a beautiful post about your mom, Anneli, bookended by her lovely white chrysanthemums that bloom in your garden. Your love for your mom came through and brought a tear to my eye. Thanks for sharing your lovely memories. Hugs.
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October 19, 2022 at 8:26 am
She really was special. Thanks for your comment, Diana. I should have saved this post for Mother’s Day but the chrysanthemums don’t bloom then, and it started out to be a post about the forty years of blooming.
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October 19, 2022 at 10:11 am
It was perfectly timed with the flowers. ❤
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October 19, 2022 at 11:48 am
Thanks, Diana. It wouldn’t work both ways.
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October 20, 2022 at 5:40 am
❤️
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October 20, 2022 at 8:27 am
What a wonderful post about your mom! Thank you for sharing!!
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October 20, 2022 at 9:17 am
Thanks for reading, Lisa. It started out all about the 40 years, but the connection took over.
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October 20, 2022 at 11:49 am
What a beautiful, sweet, loving, and incredible post, Anneli. I really enjoyed learning about your mom. Your memories of her are so “right on,” and those traits – persistence, hard work, beauty, and no-nonsense – come through in your “forever” chrysanthemum, white for purity of character. ❤
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October 20, 2022 at 2:09 pm
You’ve said it all so nicely, Pam. Thank you!
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October 23, 2022 at 5:57 am
A lovely tribute to your mother! When the flowers bloom it must fill you with good memories.
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October 23, 2022 at 7:52 am
Yes, it does, and so it is whenever I think of my mother. Thanks for your visit and nice comment, Jennie.
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October 23, 2022 at 11:27 am
My pleasure, Anneli.
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October 24, 2022 at 4:53 am
Beautiful words! Every one overflows with love. When my only sister was in grade school, she started a daisy plant in a Dixie cup. Later the plant was transplanted in a backyard flower bed. Years later, a portion of the daisies were transplanted again. They continue to bloom to this day, and my Mom cherishes them.
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October 24, 2022 at 7:45 am
This is one of the many beauties of plants. They have stories attached.
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October 28, 2022 at 7:27 pm
Man we had to get rid of all of dad’s flowers when he died in November in Illinois and he was a Bilbo level gardener. It really makes me sad to think about here in Brooklyn
what a treasure you have
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October 28, 2022 at 9:42 pm
Thank you. That must have been hard, getting rid of all your dad’s plants. Thanks for visiting.
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October 29, 2022 at 3:02 am
yeah it was. and is. house listed today. I’d show you pics of the plants but it’s a link to a real estate site so I don’t want to be weird about links or anything on here. but yeah it’s really difficult
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October 29, 2022 at 8:06 am
Tough time, and it takes a long time for it to get better, but gradually, it does.
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October 29, 2022 at 10:08 am
Hope so
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