wordsfromanneli

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Three Cheers for the Weather – “Raw! Raw! Raw!”

30 Comments

I thought it was pretty at first, the way the fog rolled in over the bay and completely hid the water from view.

Foolish girl!

It rolled onto the lower beach areas and the land close to the water.

Smugly, I thought, “How pretty it looks, and how lucky am I to be living on higher ground in the clear blue sky.”

But pride comes before the fall. You might be able to see the mist lifting ever so slightly, rising up, looking for me.

Here it comes…

and here it stays, full of tiny droplets of ice water that almost freeze the air.

Carl Sandburg’s Chicago poem, “Fog,” made an impression on me the first time I heard it. He says it so simply, so “on the mark,” and with beautiful imagery.

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Carl Sandburg

But …

I’m sorry, Carl. I find that very often, the last line of your poem doesn’t work for me, so I’ve had to change it.

 

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and stays and stays and stays and stays and stays… .

Anneli Purchase

Author: wordsfromanneli

Writing, travel, photography, nature, more writing....

30 thoughts on “Three Cheers for the Weather – “Raw! Raw! Raw!”

  1. LOL!!! I love YOUR poem, well written!!!

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  2. Your ending is great! Sort of reminds me of today’s weather in central Ohio . . . frosty and foggy!

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  3. It is pretty, Anneli, until… I could not stop laughing at your rewrite of Sandburg’s poem. Hysterical.

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  4. Witty 😎

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  5. Witty 😎

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  6. We are getting a lot of that too, to the south of here though where it has caused temperature inversions. Luckily we have stayed above it where the temps stayed warmer than the single digits a hundred miles to the south. That cat sure gets around!

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  7. Still lovely, despite its persistence.

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  8. Another poem: If winter comes, can spring be far behind? Not Sandburg this time, this one is courtesy of Percy Bysshe Shelley-It’s always a comfort on wintry days!

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  9. You are so funny! Raw Raw Raw indeed. I happen to love the fog – when we lived in the SF Bay area I’d listen to the deep fog horns (from near the Golden Gate Bridge) from our cozy warm home. But, I admit, where we lived the fog cleared out almost every day by noon. ;-0

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  10. I’ve always loved the Sandburg poem and thought it perfect! But then, I must admit I’ve never had an unrelenting winter weather experience. I think you’re on to something with your clever revision. Brrr!

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  11. Beautiful photos, Anneli, even if it was raw. We finally get whacked with our first storm this weekend. It will be a big one! I’ll take photos.

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  12. Very atmospheric images and true words.
    Regards Thom

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