wordsfromanneli

Thoughts, ideas, photos, and stories.

Monthly Archives: January 2023


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The Enforcer

Hi Folks! This is King Goldie Sr. speaking. While little Prince Goldie Jr. is over there charming Bossie Betty and enjoying a warm dust bath, it’s up to me to keep the ladies in line. Not only do I have to make sure their henhouse gossip doesn’t get out of hand, but I’m responsible for their welfare in every way.

I make sure to sound the alarm if predators come around, so they can all run for cover.

I make sure there’s no “bock-bock-bock bickering” going on.

And yes … sigh … it’s up to me to make sure they eat right. They all have to get their fruit and vegetables or they won’t be up to the work of laying the best eggs in my kingdom.

So come on, my pretties, eat your veggies. You can scratch for grain any time, but these special veggies are a real treat. And if I hear any bickering, I’ll remind you to look at the enforcers on my legs. But don’t worry. They’re mainly to defend my kingdom, not to hurt my ladies. Just “cock-a-doodle-do” as you’re told.

Pretty nice set of enforcers, don’t you think?

Ladies! Ladies! Stop the squawk!

All I hear is “Bock-bock-bawk.”

Dinner’s served and it won’t last,

Want your veggies? Get here fast.

 

Stop the bock-bock-bickering,

Stop your silly dithering,

Veggies, leafy, green, and good,

Healthy fare, it’s understood.

 

I’ll stand guard so you can eat,

Cabbage, celery, and beet,

In the morning you will lay,

Eggs of quality, I pray.

 

As for me, I have my job,

While I pick at this corn cob,

But if danger here occurs,

I’ll protect you with my spurs.

 

 

 


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Bossie’s Depression

“Prince Goldie,” said White Betty. “Just look here.  First rays of sunshine this year, and I think Bossie Betty is depressed. She’s dug herself a hole so deep she’ll never get out. Can’t you make her get up?”

“She doen’t seem to be listening to me. Not paying attention to the pecking order at all,” Goldie said. “I tried crowing and she just scrunched her eyes shut and ducked her head down.”

“Ooooh! That’s bad, if she’s ducking. She doesn’t even know she’s a chicken anymore. Well, that’s just ducky! I give up on her. I’m leaving.”

“Aw, c’mon! Don’t chicken out, Betts. We can’t just leave her there.”

“Don’t you worry, my pretty Bossie Betty. I’ll stay with you. Right here in this nice sunny spot … ahhhh…. Oh, this is ni-i-i-ice. No wonder you didn’t want to move,” crowed Goldie. “So warm! And the earth smells so wonderful, so dry and aromatic after a winter of wet muck. Yes, I could get used to this.”

 

“Would you like to go bowling, Goldie?” Bossie asked.

“Bowling?”

“Yes. Dust bowling. It’s like a beautiful bath and the sun warms you at the same time.”

“I see what you mean, Bossie.  Ah yes, it’s fit for a prince. Better than playing in a mud puddle, that’s for sure.”

*****

The chickens squawked out a rhyme today:

After weeks of muck and rain,

Icy cold, depression, pain,

I can see the sun again,

Winter doldrums start to wane.

 

Nothing like some rays of sun,

Pecking grubs outdoors is fun,

Tasty food for everyone,

Sunshine ’til the day is done.

 

Bathing in a bowl of dust,

Getting cleaner is a must,

With my hairdo I have fussed,

Now it’s cleaner, only just.

 

We are happier today,

Sun is out and we can play,

Hope that this will be the way

Sunshine finds us every day.


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Where is She?

Has anyone seen Anneli? She hasn’t posted anything for quite a few days. Is she okay? I’ve been keeping my eyes open for her in between pecking for bugs, but I haven’t seen a glimpse of her. Anyone…?

I don’t know what’s going on,

Anneli seems to be gone.

I keep on looking out for her,

Time to make a post I’m sure.

 

It isn’t like her to neglect,

All us birds, but what the heck,

Soon she’ll get it all together,

She’s just hiding from the weather.

Okay, okay, I’m here! It’s just that I’ve been up to the proverbial eyeballs lately, and I’m very busy with copy-editing, but I’ll be back soon.  Meanwhile, hang in there, and please don’t kill that tree with all your pecking.

Talk to you soon!

Anneli


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Who Says There’s No Free Lunch?

“Floyd! You’ve been at the suet block forever!” says Johnny Junco. “Don’t you think you should give me a turn?”

“Bah! Go eat the seeds I drop,” says Floyd.

Rufus and his Missus zoom in as soon as Floyd takes a break.  “How is it?” asks Rufus.

“A lot of fat before you can get to the good stuff,”  she says.

“Well, why don’t you get right into the cage?” Rufus says. “You’re slim enough.”

“Why thank you,” the Missus says. “How kind of you to say so. I hadn’t thought of that. But you stand guard in case Floyd or his girlfriend, Bossy Flossie, comes back.”

“I guess I’ll just have to pick at what drops on the ground,” Johnny says. “Those guys are just too big for me to take on. But at least there’s something for everyone.”

If you’re big and rough and tough,

When you eat you’ll get enough,

But if you’re a little guy,

You must wait, or stand and cry.

 

 

That’s the way the real world works,

First come bullies, then the jerks,

Dainty birds like us must wait,

Sadly this has been our fate.

 

 

At the feeder we can find,

That someone has been so kind,

Now there’s food to feed us all,

Whether we are big or small.


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Anecdotes – Ruby and the Bug

 

The ten-lined June beetle lives underground for two or three years as a larva that looks like a hungry white prawn. It eats the roots of plants, and loves to destroy my potato crop.

 When it is about 1 1/2 to 2 inches long, it hatches as a beetle, in those hot days of summer. It likes to fly around and land on an unsuspecting person’s back, where that victim can’t reach it.

 

These bugs freak me out. I always turn up my collar and stay close to the house when I take our dog out for last call.

Our English springer spaniel puppy, Ruby, had a different view of these beetles. She thought God had put them on this earth for her to chase and, perhaps to bring them into the house to play with.

At this point I would like to share an entry I made in one of my journals where I wrote things of note that happened on any particular day. (The Captain was away commercial fishing and might later be interested in reading how I spent my summer.) Our puppy, Ruby, was a little bit wild and crazy those first months of her life.

August 22, 2007

Ruby brought in a beetle again, after her last pee of the evening. She’s getting very surreptitious about it. She went straight to her doggie bed and put her chin on the bed, trying to look innocent. But I’m onto that fake innocence and sure enough, I heard bug screams coming from inside her mouth. “M-m-m-r-r-z-z-z! M-m-m-r-r-z-z-z!”

It was hard to make her give it up, but finally she spat it out, and batted at it meaning to play with it. I couldn’t just pick it up with my bare hands, but a little dog bowl was nearby, so I used it to try to scoop up the bug. I say “try” because it didn’t work out so well. The beetle has tiny hooks on its legs and they stuck to the fuzzy material of the dog bed. I tried scooping again and as it let go it brushed against my hand and I shrieked. The bug was flung into the corner under a chest of drawers, and Ruby, freaked out by my shriek, leapt up off the bed and backed off a few feet.

I laughed until I cried. Again. She has me laughing so often with her antics out in the yard. I’m sure the neighbours wonder about the old woman who lives alone and goes out into her backyard laughing out loud all by herself.

 

 


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Dickie’s New Year’s Resolution

Folks! Dickie here. I wasn’t going to make a New Year’s resolution, but something happened to change my mind. I’m sorry to tell you we’ve got thieves in the woodshed. Well, at the very least, they’re freeloaders.

Here’s what happened. Flossie and Flora Flicker and their brother Floyd were checking out breakfast joints….

“I’ve been picking at the ground for those ant eggs and beetles, but they’ve all gone into hiding,” said Flossie.

“Give it up. I know a better place,” called Flora.

“What did you say?” Flossie shouted. “I had my head in the sand there for a minute. Didn’t hear what you said.”

“I said, Flossie, there are easier ways to get a meal around here. Your brother, Floyd has already gone to look. So, are you interested?”

 

“I know the sunflower seeds are stashed around here, in the woodpile,” Floyd mumbled. “I bet Rufus Towhee knows where they are, but he hasn’t been very helpful.”

“I was just about to tell Floyd about the sunflower seeds in the jar,” said Rufus, “but then he found this big ugly bug. I just had to turn my back. Can’t stand to watch him crunching away on it.”

“And now for dessert!”

“I do feel a little bit bad, eating Dickie’s sunflower seeds. He’ll be so disappointed when he sees they’re gone.”

“Oh deardeardear! They found my stash. And Floyd is bigger than I am. Did you see that spear of a beak on him?  Well … lesson learned. My first New Year’s resolution – I’m going to have to start getting up earlier and get my share.”